APU Blogs

The novelty of writing about events and agendas has started to ware off. So much has been going on here (both in South Africa and within myself) that I don’t even know where to begin. Something that has happened within the last few weeks that has really altered my entire experience here as well as my views of community and service, is what has transpired within our group of APU students, involving conflict and confrontation-two things I’ve tended to avoid in my life thus far. I’m a peace-keeper, a “why can’t we all get along” sort of person. I usually don’t tell people if I have a problem with them, I just let it fester until it’s a huge issue, often beyond repair. Yes, I know this is very unhealthy, and what has been happening here has helped me to start making changes to how I act and react to things and see the true importance of making these changes in my life as a relational human being, and more importantly, as a follower of Jesus Christ. 

There was a class offered here at the APU South Africa semester called “Conflict Management.” Only three people took this class, and I’m thinking maybe we all should have.

Our entire time in South Africa has been unique and wonderful; but I think we’ve all been exposed to a level of group dynamic and intense community that many people never experience in their entire lives. 

Within our group we have:

31 individuals.

29 students, 2 leaders.

22 women, 9 men.

25 Caucasians, 6 minorities

31 uniquely different people.

Every single person in this group has grown up in a different community, a different area, a different culture, a different economic status, a different class, a different family structure, a different faith background, a different relationship with Jesus; a different world…their own. Where we all have had different lives up until this point, we have joined together to embark on a common journey of geographic similarity, but we have each gone down separate paths of spiritual journeys and practical application. Though we all may be seeing and hearing the same situations, we’re interpreting them differently and processing and applying them in entirely different ways. This clash of resulting conclusions has caused an unsynchronized response and varying attitudes about the situations we’ve all found ourselves in: 

Rather than turning to each other for support and community, we’ve turned against each other, destroying community and diminishing any form of support system we may have initially had.

For my Life & Teachings of Jesus course, I had to study the Olivet Discourse (Mark 13; Matthew 24-25; Luke 21:5-38) which talks about signs of the End Times. One part stood out to me as something I had never really noticed before, and really applied to things in our group dynamic. What I am talking about is the idea that God wants us to care for our fellow Christians before non-Christians. When this idea was first brought up to be I was extremely confused-I’d never heard this concept before and it seemed pretty ridiculous, if not even the opposite of what I believed of the Gospel previously. Why would God place more value on Christians than He does on non-Christians? Why would He want us to care more for one over the other? Incidentally, I learned a lot concerning this issue within days of writing out the questions of this assignment (the following is my own understanding of the Scriptures paired with convictions I’ve had and questions I’m still sorting through):

I discovered that God wants us to care for our brothers and sisters in Christ before others, because if we can’t even truly love, care for and serve other Christians, people who are seeking to do the will of God, serve Him-live for Him and die for Him, people who love Jesus as we ourselves do; then how in the world do we think we are ably suited to serve those who do not know Christ? If we can’t love those who share with us the most basic and vital passion and brotherhood in Christ, can we really, genuinely love and serve someone who we do not share this with?

On the flip side, God knows that it is much easier for us to love and serve people whom we do not know (for they do not really know us), opposed to those whom we know really well. It is much easier to go up to a stranger and talk to them about Jesus than to speak to your best friend or even your parents. Why? Because with a stranger, you can wear any mask, use any vocabulary or body language you chose and they will not judge you in a way that matters to you, because if they are judging or criticizing you or what you’re saying, they’re not really judging you, but whoever/whatever you are pretending to be.

Hiding behind such a façade isn’t exactly possible with someone who has known you your whole life or a majority of it, knowing your every habit, personality trait, background and secrets. There is much more vulnerability and self exposure here, it’s much riskier, and God knows this.

Since late August, we’ve been living closely together as a community of 31 people. We easily ignored conflict and avoided confrontation amongst one another, failing to serve and love each other, yet claiming to be able to serve and love local South African people. Why do we think we only need to live out our Christianity while out in the field, working and doing Christian tasks? We should be living lives following Jesus every step of everyday, no matter who we’re walking with, where we’re going, or who’s following. If everything I do isn’t for the glory of God and to further His Kingdom, then I have no right to call myself a Christian. 

Reconciliation is a big theme in South Africa after the ending of Apartheid in the early 1990’s and we have been learning a lot about the importance and need for truth and reconciliation in communities in order for positive and peaceful interactions. Two weeks ago we had our own student-led reconciliation meeting. There had been a lot of tension within our group based on a lack of communication and very poor and hostile communication. People were not voicing their struggles or grievances with others, some were letting small annoyances boil up into hatred and disregard for others and turned it into many people being outright (and not so outright) rude and nasty. There was just a negative feeling all around, most of the time. It was not pleasant, and everyone was aware of it, and it lasted for way too long. We all sat around after class one day, without any leaders or teachers; just us. We laid things out on the table, solved problems and just talked things out. Isn’t it crazy how just bringing up an issue makes things so much better, even if no concrete solution is necessarily reached…honesty is an incredible thing.

So we talked for about an hour, in a very respectful and mostly calm way. It was really amazing to be a part of; I was shocked to see the level of maturity, honesty and commitment to staying focused on God as the center and purpose of the whole conversation. I gained a lot more respect for everyone in the group just in our ability to handle such a situation that, as someone pointed out, that many churches split up over.

Since all this has gone down, people have been more understanding, patient, encouraging, and overall, joyful. The Holy Spirit was definitely working in us and led that whole conversation for the glory and furthering of the kingdom of God. We began to take care of each other, serve our brothers and sisters, and live in community with each other as fellow Christians. I am so thankful that this happened at the time it did, just two days before we began working in the surrounding communities to do our service and ministry projects. I don’t even want to begin to think about what could’ve happened if we hadn’t begun this process of healing and community building within our own group. God’s timing is perfect and His plan is flawless. It is lessons like this that keep me in awe of the greatness and majesty of our Heavenly Father.

I know we are still not perfect and we won’t ever be. But shifting our focus now to be willing and open to talk and confront each other with honesty, respect and love is a great place to start, and in this we can cultivate the kind of community God intended for us, with Him at the center.