From August 30–December 8, 2006, I studied and lived at Xiamen University, China. I studied the language, history, art, and just about anything my teachers could share during those months. I learned a lot from the experience, but the lessons I value most did not come from textbooks or lectures, but from interacting with the Chinese people.
During my semester abroad, almost everything familiar to me was absent: my family, my friends, and my university. However, as strange as this was, the most difficult adjustment was the absence of American culture. And I do not mean simply media, movies, and art, but rather the social systems of behavior in which I have been trained throughout my life. I found myself in a foreign country filled with people whose actions I could never predict, and with whom I felt unprepared to interact, lest I publicly embarrass myself or offend a local. Or both.
For the first few weeks, I was confused and sometimes frustrated with my inability to adjust to my new situation; fortunately, God used this opportunity to teach me to change my attitude about my circumstances – to recognize that I should take advantage of this semester and absorb as much as possible from the people around me. I began to observe and take part in the Chinese lifestyle, and through this, recognized some differences and similarities between the Chinese and American ways of life. I discovered a sort of measuring tool against which I could compare my own culture, and I saw some things I think we Americans could adopt from the Chinese.
Top among these positive cultural attributes was the Chinese people’s display of hospitality. My Chinese friends, teachers, and even shopkeepers always watched for ways to make me feel welcome. I am not denying the practice of hospitality in the United States; rather, I have attended numerous social events and been in the homes of friends where I felt very welcome by my hosts. That said, the standards of hospitality differ between the nations. For example, Americans welcome their guests by extending the invitation to “make yourself at home.” Chinese people, on the other hand, show hospitality by honoring their guests, making a clear distinction between “guest” and “host.” This brand of hospitality ensured my safety and enjoyment while I was in China, and it is this custom that I am trying to put into practice in my own life.
Even as I was extended this amazing hospitality, I clearly stood out, whether I wanted to or not. The physical differences between myself and the average Chinese person were obvious. Realistically, a blonde, blue-eyed person of European descent cannot blend in a country with more than one billion Chinese. My outward appearance was more than just an indication of where I come from; it was an indication of who I am – an American. I was a spectacle, and I hated that no matter how much I learned about the Chinese culture and language, I would never be able to hide my foreignness. And then I realized how much I benefited from this reality every day: for most of the Chinese around me, I was not just a foreigner; I was a guest.
The Chinese people gave me special treatment like I have rarely experienced at home. If I ask a stupid question in the United States, it is just that: a stupid question. When I asked stupid questions in China, my hosts were patient with me. They understood the fact that because I am not Chinese, it is reasonable that I would not be aware of their lifestyle. When I messed up, they helped me. When I had to ask for help using my very limited knowledge of their language, they stopped to listen to me, supplying words I lacked, and did their best to answer me. Of course, they did not always show this kind of patience with fellow Chinese, but I was the guest.
Leaving home gave me a new perspective, so that while I was separated from everything and everyone I knew, and became immersed in a new culture, I could examine my own with more awareness. Since coming back, I have been thinking about how I can apply what I learned about hospitality in China to my life at home. So far, this is what I have come up with: be sympathetic. Pay attention to people who feel out of place and do not completely understand the situations in which they find themselves. Go out of my way to make them feel welcome, the way my friends in China were so kind as to do for me. Treat them like guests.
Katelyn Noll ’07 is an English major from Atascadero, California.
km.noll@gmail.com
