The Ideal Worship Leader

by Angie Kay Hong

When I discovered music in worship, I discovered God. I had grown up in the church, but it was mainly a social club for me and my youth group bubble to fellowship in this world as second generation Korean-Americans. It wasn’t until I went on my very first youth retreat that I found myself in a setting with older Unnis and Oppas (bigger ‘sister and brother’ role model types) who took their faith in God seriously. I witnessed their raw and heartfelt singing of songs to Jesus, and I remember wanting to know this heavenly love so wholeheartedly. As I saw them play instruments, hold their hands in the air, and sing out in a raw posture to our great God, I saw such a pure form of human activity that was anything but hidden. It was like David in the Psalms - honest, heartfelt, and beautiful. I wanted it. I had stumbled upon a transformative moment in Jesus, and I realized that I too wanted to be transformed. I longed to shed my awkward and insecure exterior self in front of God. I wanted to be free.

As I took home a huge notebook of songs, I vowed to learn how to play the guitar and sing every song as best as I could. I spent hours with my friends after church learning and practicing with them, working out the harmonies and strumming patterns. With every word we sang and chord we played, our faith grew deeper. We devoured every new worship album that came out. We sang out our prayers and favorite verses in the Bible. We were developing the rudimentary tools to become worship leaders ourselves, to be the ones to lead others to God. It was such a sweet time of growing together in the fellowship and love of Jesus.

Eventually, I had the honor of serving on the worship teams at some of the retreats that had helped to shape me as a follower of Christ. I was so excited and passionate to lead others into the ways of Jesus through music. I could not wait to share the amazing love of God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit through my favorite medium of music.

Back then, I wasn’t thinking about the fact that all my Christian music influences were mostly men. I wasn’t thinking about the fact that the songs were in musical keys that were well-suited for the guys but too high for the girls. I didn’t really notice that women mostly sang the slow songs and many only appeared on stage with their husbands. And I wasn’t thinking about the fact that all the worship leaders I could name were white. Back then, I just wanted to purely worship, no matter what kind of song or worship leadership I received. What did it matter? A song is a song. What I didn’t realize was that as my faith grew deeper, the image of the ideal worship leader as white and male was being ingrained deeper along with it.

As I started answering the call by God to be a worship leader as a vocation, I slowly started to notice just how much this worship music world was not inclusive of people like me. I was the opposite of a white male worship leader - a Korean American female - and I started to think it was odd that there weren’t lots of different kinds of people who sang and led worship in well-known spaces. Was it just that the important worship leaders were located in places that didn’t have a lot of diversity? Did the most talented worship leaders just happen to be mostly white men and that others were just not talented enough? Worst of all, did this mean that people like me were not meant to be worship leaders?

This mattered as I went about the task of leading worship and choosing worship songs. Coming from a Korean-American context, I thought that there were specific cultural aspects to my Christianity. Those early days of being at a Korean church were more than just a social hour, as it turned out. As Korean-Americans, our parents from Korea wanted to parent us with Korean values, and those values often clashed with how we wanted to be raised in America. All of us attended schools where we were the minority. Most of us were considered the “Asian sidekicks” in our communities and were expected to be good at some things like math, science, and orchestra, but were not considered for much else. Many of us grappled with our identities while being constantly criticized by our parents and found ourselves trying to create and shape some sort of identity together. We wanted to be valued and worthy, but that would look different depending on the setting we were in.

Going to our Korean churches, in many ways, was a chance to get some respite from it all. By walking together, we could share things that nobody else could relate to. We could pray specifically with each other. We didn’t have to explain the cultural tensions and struggles. We sang the songs we were given, but as a worship leader in my specific context, I often found myself adapting these songs to fit us better. At some point, I felt like this just wasn’t enough as an expression of my faith and the faith of my community.

I started looking at the situation differently. Instead of wondering if I was ever meant to be a worship leader, could I try to untangle the false notions of an ideal worship leader– that is, a particular type of person can be defined as any person who leads and serves others in a faithful expression of worship to God, Son, and Holy Spirit? Could I own the idea that I and others, who looked different, could be “ideal” worship leaders?

Whenever I lead worship at national gatherings and worship events, there are a slew of people who approach me and say what a blessing it was to have been led in worship by someone like me. For some, they say it was a relief to see someone like them. Some say it affirms their calling to be a worship leader as well, and I rejoice with them. Some say that they have never been led in worship by someone who looks like me and never realized it before. I rejoice with them too.

Nowadays, I lead worship in full confidence that I was called to do so. I have shown creativity in introducing others to my fullest expression of faith, which includes my context and story. I try to open up the conversations about why there is such an “ideal” type of worship leader, and it has been refreshing. I feel as free as David in the Psalms, presenting my whole self to God in pure raw form, unfiltered, untranslatable, and in all honesty. “This is my story… this is my song…”

Angie Kay Hong is a board-certified music therapist, pianist, vocalist, Menders band member, and songwriter. Angie is also a worship leader, specifically focusing on the intersection between worship, reconciliation, and identity.
Angie Kay Hong is a board-certified music therapist, pianist, vocalist, Menders band member, and songwriter. Angie is also a worship leader, specifically focusing on the intersection between worship, reconciliation, and identity.