Last weekend I read original poetry at Black Cat Fables, an independent bookstore in Monrovia, hosted by my friend, author, and alumna, Kathyrn Ross ’15. One week before graduating from Azusa Pacific University, I sat in front of an audience of many I didn’t know, vibrant books on the sleek black shelves behind me. Sharing some of the most vulnerable words I’d ever written was nerve wracking, and yet, I felt in my element, accompanied by friends who have become family, and fellow artists eager to share creative writing. My 17-year-old self who entered APU in hopes of creating movie magic through the cinematic arts program would be surprised, but definitely not disappointed. My college journey has shown me who I am in countless facets. The worthwhile community at APU pushed me toward pursuing my dreams, especially when they change, because I’ve learned that personal development entails new aspirations. As an English and honors humanities major with a minor in Spanish, my APU experience has been nothing short of transformative.
One of my fondest early memories at APU is the formation of my first writing group. As a student in the Honors College, we were instructed to gather a few classmates to discuss writing projects with, and to make it fun by going out to eat. Ricky Lopez ’25, Camron Williams ’25, Maya Arnouk ’25, and I became regulars at Denny’s in Glendora. Every Friday I could count on many belly laughs, bottomless cups of coffee, and syrupy chocolate banana pancakes (my favorite). The four of us were there for each other through every challenging assignment, creative project, and personal ebbs and flows that came with early adulthood. Their friendship introduced me to the beauty of living life in community.
Studying film during my first semester was a thrilling experience, and if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing. Something I love about APU’s cinematic arts program is how they equip students with hands-on experience with industry level equipment right off the bat. While I made the best memories laughing on the sets of our short films, I quickly learned that film is not the medium that best fits my creative talents. I especially loved witnessing the passion and talent within my cohort. I met one of my best friends, David Saenz ’24, and his heart for filmmaking still inspires me to follow my goals.
When I switched my major to English during the second semester of freshman year, I prayed I had made the right decision. I knew I did when my love for learning started to rekindle. I no longer found myself reading and writing just to receive a good grade. I was delving into William Wordsworth’s poetry and Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart because I love words and stories.
It wasn’t until my sophomore year that I truly started growing into myself as a writer. When I first met Michael Dean Clark, PhD, through poetry class, I was thrown off by how different he runs his class sessions. There were no exams or pop quizzes, but don’t mistake that for being easy. One of the first things I learned from Clark was that creativity flourishes in restrictions—because how do you write a poem about praise only with the words you hear and see in passing? More than that, Clark’s encouragement to try and fail, along with advice to lean into the process of art, reignited my love for self-expression. Months later I published my first poem “Abraham and Isaac,” and launched my blog New Romanticism, to continue cultivating my endeavors as a writer.
That same care and attention Clark provided as I started discovering my place as an artist was shown to me through the friendships I made during my sophomore year. I used to drive Kinley Hartz ’26 from West Campus to East for our American Literature class on Tuesday mornings, always joking that I was parked in the “mommy spot.” As a commuter, I had many gaps of time between classes and extracurriculars, and Hartz kindly invited me to spend time with her in her dorm, where we’d listen to Taylor Swift, play games, and do each other’s makeup. Today, she’s the person I text first when something wonderful happens, and her warm hugs always make my day.
I write a lot about love, on both my blog and in creative pieces, as I keep searching for ways to express the love I’ve found that illuminates like the rising sun.
My professors have been the catalyst for my growth. Windy Petrie, PhD, taught me that literature (and all stories really) influence culture, so our contributions to literary conversations are vital for turning up the voices that are often silenced. Rico Vitz, PhD, showed me that I can implement my love for poetry in philosophical contexts, because art is an essential contribution to intellectual thought. César Aroldo Solorzano, PhD, broadened my understanding of different cultures’ ways of life, which is something I’ll always strive to uplift. Patricia Brown, PhD, showed me I don’t have to be afraid to speak my mind.
Stories have been the heart of my college experience. During my junior year, I started a public relations internship in APU’s Division of Strategic Communication and Engagement. All I knew stepping into the role was that I would be able to apply my creative skills to write articles for the university’s website. For two years I grew tremendously, as I interviewed more than 100 people, sharing their stories, experiences, passions, and aspirations. Uplifting people’s stories—faculty, staff, students, and alumni—deepened my appreciation for the ways different strengths and interests work together to create meaning in the world. Additionally, I got to engage with some of the most amazing coworkers and supervisors who pushed me to my fullest potential.
Having transformed so much in my freshman through junior years, I thought senior year would be a breeze. I had college homework down, knew how to prepare for finals, and stayed in a solid job I loved. Instead, a whirlwind of change taught me to keep leaning on the people God places in my life. I had decided to live on campus for the first time. I was at APU so much before then, I already felt like I practically lived there, so why not have a place to go to in the middle of busy days and at the end of a long one? While it was challenging at first to adjust to a new rhythm of life and sense of freedom, I’m certain God directed my path in His perfect timing. Late nights baking with my friends and having poetry parties together are memories I’ll hold close to my heart.
Two experiences during my senior year were especially rewarding: participating in Oxbridge Tutorial and being co-editor-in-chief of APU’s literary journal, The West Wind.
Oxbridge is the senior capstone project in the Honors College, in which groups of students each write a chapter for a book exploring a classic text. I was in Joseph Bentz’s, PhD, Oxbridge group on John Steinbeck’s Great Depression novel The Grapes of Wrath. At first I was worried I wouldn’t be capable of writing a 20 page chapter about a book I was not fond of. Now, I look back at the endless laughter, rich conversations, and enjoyable time spent with my lovely team. We brought snacks for each other every week, sang Woody Guthrie’s “Dust Bowl Refugee,” and made a book we’re really proud of, called Figures in the Dust (available for purchase at APU’s Campus Store). I ended up realizing how passionate I am about giving light to stories about the marginalized, and I connected my literary interests by writing about Steinbeck’s fascinating intercalary chapters.
Being co-editor-in-chief of The West Wind alongside my lovely friend Evie Huang ’25 was an incredibly fulfilling, fun, and formative experience. Carrying on the 30-year legacy of APU’s literary journal taught us what it takes to manage a publication, and we couldn’t have done it without our wonderful team of editors and artists who are just as passionate as we are about appreciating art. At our release party in April, seeing the print copy of the journal filled my heart with so much joy. Seeing students read their work, showcase their paintings, and ask each other to sign their pieces in their journals reconfirmed for me that it is vital to cultivate a community that respects art.
I finished my last final earlier this week for my fiction class with Clark. His words of inspiration struck a chord with me as he told students to keep writing. “The cost is your time. The currency is your soul,” Clark said.
As I reflect on the past four magical years, I see the ways my soul has been tended. The people God placed in my life at APU have catapulted my drive to lean further into my identity, not only as a writer, but as a friend and Christian who enacts Jesus’ character.
Graduation has stirred many bittersweet emotions—joy to have overcome obstacles, especially as a first generation college student, and longing to hold onto the friendships I’ve made and unique college life that entails seeing them all the time. I’m learning, however, that I don’t have to grasp so tightly onto the gifts God has given me. The time I’ve spent at APU has been worthwhile, and I have no doubt God has a beautiful plan for the future.